I can't tell if it's the new pill I'm taking, or the fact that our house guests have no interest in spending any time with us, but for whatever reason I have the blues. Or should I say I'm expecting the blues? I can feel them coming on strong, but have yet to let any of the ridiculous tears through. I hate that this happens to me. And I hate even more that I always have to worry about whether it's depression coming back, or see if I can find something in my environment that triggered it, or if I've tried a new food, or pill, or whatever. It never is as simple as "I feel blue" anymore, and that's all I want it to be. But I learned the hard way what happens when I ignore stuff, and just pretend it's regular blues. And I don't want to be there again either.

I wish I just didn't care so much. I'm pretty sure this is just hurt feelings about the house guests, but since I have started a new b/c pill, well, there's really no way to be sure. I just have to monitor it and see what happens.

Bleh. :(