I just threw 10 perfectly good rolls of bathroom tissue (that's what it says on the bag, but it's toilet paper) into the hallway of my building. Still in the package they came in, and wrapped securely again in a white plastic garbage bag. Because it had a SPIDER in it. (I used caps because it was HUGE!) EWWWW!!! Now, I know throwing the entire thing out in to the hallway might seem a little drastic, but it wasn't my first choice. No. When I opened the bathroom cupboard, and saw that Massive Spider just sitting in the bag of tp, looking at me, my first thought was the PMoP, the Paper Mitt of Protection. However, it didn't take me long to figure out that even with my hand (and arm) entirely cased in paper towel, I was still going to have to put my hand through that small opening in the bag, into an enclosed space with that MONSTER. And more than likely, it was going to run up my arm. Not. Going. To. Happen.
So. Then I decided to pull out my old trusty bug sucker upper. One might think that would be the cat, but she retired about 6 years ago and was actually witnessing my panic from just inside the laundry basket. And I think she was laughing. But I hauled out the vacuum cleaner (careful not to make too much noise so as not to alert the enemy to its impending doom, plugged it in and attached the hose, and flippedtheswitchandshovedthehoseinthegeneraldirectionofthebag only to discover that IT HAD STARTED SUCKING THE OUTSIDE OF THE BAG INSTEAD OF THE INSIDE!!! Now, I can't even see where the f***ing spider is, all I know is that it is still in that bag. I know this because my stupid stunt with the vacuum sealed the bag shut while it sucked from the outside. So. I grabbed a white garbage bag, grabbed the top of the tp bag, and introduced them. And since I can never find a twist tie in this place, I used an Ikea clip, sealed it up, and threw it out my door into the building's hallway. I know. Some neighbour I am, right? Well the people downstairs are mostly too busy throwing each other around these days to notice, so whatever. Trust me, it won't be there long. Part of me thinks that crafty sucker will figure a way out of the bag, so as soon as I've finished this I'll be taking it to the dumpster on my way to Safeway to buy more bathroom tissue.
Seriously. Spiders are Gross.
On an entirely different note, it's Indy this weekend so it sounds like we're being invaded by bees.
So. Then I decided to pull out my old trusty bug sucker upper. One might think that would be the cat, but she retired about 6 years ago and was actually witnessing my panic from just inside the laundry basket. And I think she was laughing. But I hauled out the vacuum cleaner (careful not to make too much noise so as not to alert the enemy to its impending doom, plugged it in and attached the hose, and flippedtheswitchandshovedthehoseinthegeneraldirectionofthebag only to discover that IT HAD STARTED SUCKING THE OUTSIDE OF THE BAG INSTEAD OF THE INSIDE!!! Now, I can't even see where the f***ing spider is, all I know is that it is still in that bag. I know this because my stupid stunt with the vacuum sealed the bag shut while it sucked from the outside. So. I grabbed a white garbage bag, grabbed the top of the tp bag, and introduced them. And since I can never find a twist tie in this place, I used an Ikea clip, sealed it up, and threw it out my door into the building's hallway. I know. Some neighbour I am, right? Well the people downstairs are mostly too busy throwing each other around these days to notice, so whatever. Trust me, it won't be there long. Part of me thinks that crafty sucker will figure a way out of the bag, so as soon as I've finished this I'll be taking it to the dumpster on my way to Safeway to buy more bathroom tissue.
Seriously. Spiders are Gross.
On an entirely different note, it's Indy this weekend so it sounds like we're being invaded by bees.
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